We all have deal breakers, essentially a list of traits that we won’t tolerate in a partner. But then there are some of us who take that list a bit too far, and end up with one that is a mile-long. Yikes!

Not only will this severely cut down on your chances of finding someone who might actually be right for you, you will scare off potential candidates as well. Honestly, who would want to deal with someone who seems so demanding and disagreeable?

For a better dating life, here’s a list of things that shouldn’t matter when you like someone:

  1. Their looks. So the person you like doesn’t look like a movie star. Ask yourself, “Does this really matter in the long run?” No matter how you look at it, it doesn’t. Looks fade with time, and if you’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone, it might as well be with someone whose company you enjoy. At the end of the day, you’re dating a person, personality and everything, not their face.
  2. Their body. Do you really need a beau with a six-pack? One can definitely see the appeal, but if you’re going to forgo someone just because they’re a bit chubby and don’t have a six-pack, you’re not going to have a good time.
  3. Their height. It’s perfectly normal to have a height preference, but their lack of (or excess of) height shouldn’t be a deal breaker. The man of your dreams might just be an inch shorter than you’d expect, or Mrs. Right might just be slightly taller than you. Don’t dismiss chemistry just because of their height.
  4. Their sense of style. Find their sense of style embarrassing? Some people just prefer to dress comfortably rather than to blow it all on clothes, and… Let’s just agree that all these superficial things don’t matter at the end of the day, okay? (Besides, if things start getting serious, you can always buy them something they’d look good in… Or throw away their ratty old polo shirt when they’re not looking. You didn’t hear this from me.)
  5. Race. If the only factor that is holding you back from being with someone is their race, then you’re missing out. There is nothing wrong with interracial relationships. If anything, it can be an opportunity to learn something new by sharing each other’s cultures. FACT: It is because of this quality that interracial couples tend to be more open-minded, mindful and have greater depth of views of people in society.
  6. How much money they make. Money would be nice, but just because your beau doesn’t make as much money as so-and-so, doesn’t mean they can’t make you happy. A life of luxury isn’t going to make you happy if you’re married to a douchebag.
  7. If they still live with their parents. A lot of millennials are still living with their parents. Unless they’re making absolutely no effort to save money and are just leeching off the latter, this shouldn’t be a problem. It just goes to show that they are being fiscally responsible. There isn’t anything wrong with saving for a better future now, is there?
  8. What your friends and family think. Who is dating that person, you or your parents? You are. While it would be great if your friends and family love your new beau, it is your opinion that matters the most in this situation. Now, unless they start expressing concern that the person you’re seeing might be abusive, you needn’t pay attention to what they have to say.  
  9. If they’re well-traveled. Not everyone gets the opportunity to travel abroad, and think of it this way, this is a chance for you to explore the world together. The thought of which makes it even more exciting, doesn’t it?
  10. If they’re awkward. Some degree of awkwardness is part of the parcel of the initial stages of dating. And if they’re just naturally awkward, well… It’s just part of their charm, isn’t it? Nobody is perfect, and you aren’t either. Lighten up a little.
Melissa Kartini
Nuffnang Community Team


Online dating- that’s where desperate people who can’t get a date to save their own lives go to, right? Home of the socially awkward, creepy and the weird. Wrong. Online dating is quickly becoming one of the most popular ways to find love, so it’s well about time to shake that outdated thinking!

With millions of online daters across the globe, online dating really isn’t all that bizarre. It’s part of the modern, digital age and honestly a great way to meet new people.

So if you think you’d like to give it a try, take a look at this list for a better dating experience.

Make sure you’re ready

This might not be immediately obvious, so it needs to be said. Before you venture into the world of online dating, make sure that you’re ready for it. Whether you’re looking for a genuine relationship or have just left one, be open to meeting someone new. All of your emotional baggage from past relationships ought to be where they belong- in the past. Your potential love interest will thank you for it.

Take the time to write your own profile

This is a no-brainer, but it’s amazing how this gets messed up a lot. I’ll make it clear right here: the best way to attract like-minded, worthwhile people is by writing a decent profile. List out your interests, sound positive (bombarding everyone with a list of pet peeves and curse words will drive them away) and keep your profile as brief as possible. In an era of social media, it’s best to keep it short to grab attention.

Tip: Avoid describing your personality as this can be very subjective. Exp: You might think you’re funny, but other people might not.

Read other people’s profiles

Another no-brainer, but you’d be surprised by how many skip this step, especially when it comes to image-focused apps like Tinder. Certainly, it might feel troublesome to take a few seconds to read someone’s profile, but you’re saving yourself a lot of time in the long run! Just think of the number of time-wasters you’re filtering by just doing this. And really, you might just miss a great match by simply swiping left without reading that sacred biography.

Put photos of yourself

That’s “photos”. Plural. One photograph isn’t enough to determine what someone really looks like, and honestly speaking, it can look suspicious if you only have one picture. Be prepared to provide a good selection of photos, preferably those where you’re looking your best and doing what you love- and please make sure that they’re not from 30 wrinkles, years or kilograms ago. You don’t want to oversell yourself.

Be open-minded

Ditch that wish list of yours and be open-minded. It’s not wrong to have a set of traits you’re looking for and absolutely will not compromise on, but be reasonable. Shave that list from 15 to maybe 3, and you might just have a better dating experience. Who knows, the man or woman of your dreams might be an inch shorter than your expectations, or they might live just a kilometer away from your preferred distance. Cast a wider net- you could discover a preference that you hadn’t thought of if you had stuck to your old list.

Stay safe

Don’t lull yourself into a false sense of security just because you’re sitting behind a screen. This is the internet, and just like the real world, there are weirdos out there. Think very carefully before giving out personal details like your phone number or address to total strangers. And never, ever accept a ride from them; you’d be leaving yourself at the mercy of a total stranger.

Meet quickly

While it might seem like a good idea to chat for ages before finally meeting, this can lead to having unrealistic fantasies about your match. And when you finally do meet, you may end up disappointed, or find that the chemistry isn’t there. Exchanging a few messages before deciding on whether to go on a date is enough; there’s no need to drag things out for weeks or worse, months on end.

Don’t fall in lust with a photo

It’s easy to fall in lust love with a photo, but remember that while it would be great to have a good-looking partner, looks is something that should be placed in the “would be nice” category, instead of the “absolute must”. At the end of the day, the one you’re going to date is a person, not a photograph.

Don’t expect too much

Bear in mind that the person you’re meeting is a stranger, and that they’re human too. So forgive the little mistakes they might make during the first date (it’s only natural to be nervous!), or the fact they might have a pimple or two or that they might have a bit of a tummy. In the case of the last two points, we all put our best face forward when it comes to profile photos, and your date might not be having the best day when you meet.

That said, if your date is 20 years older in real life or looks nothing like their photo, run.

Don’t lose motivation

It’s easy to fall in the trap of losing hope in online dating, but just like other forms of dating, it takes up a lot of time, money and energy. So be patient. It’s exceedingly rare to meet the perfect match within the first few, let alone first try, which is why it’s best to approach the matter with a level head. Get to know the person in front of you, and if it doesn’t work out, take it as a learning experience and move on to the next. You’ll meet your Mr. or Mrs. Right soon enough.

Melissa Kartini
Nuffnang Community Team

To read this on the magazine, click here

Disclaimer: This article is an excerpt from the third issue of our e-magazine, Crunch.


Photo credit to our Nuffie @rinaijoachim

Mention that you use Tinder, and you’ll generally be greeted by one of two reactions; the first one would be casual, if slightly intrigued acceptance, and the other would be a look of disgust. Whether you like it or not, online dating has been rising in popularity over the years, and it’s only going to keep rising.

But what does this increase in popularity mean for the dating world? Does it change the way we date? And if it does, is it for better or for worse?

Let’s dive into this topic for a bit.

It’s easier to find a date

Dating has never been easy, but thanks to the long working hours many of us have, it has gotten tougher. This is where dating apps and sites help us out.

For those of us who are unable to meet people outside of our own friends (and heck, even this can be difficult!), family and colleagues, dating apps and sites are efficient ways to get a date. All you have to do is find a match, and after chatting for a while, set up a date. Technology has made it that much easier!

Rise in interracial marriages

What you’d be surprised to find is that online dating may be one of the sole contributors to the
rise in interracial marriages.

“Say what?!” you might sputter. But if you really think about it, it makes sense. Before online dating came to be, we were limited to the people we know and are closest to- and these people tend to be of the same ethnicity as us. With
online dating in the picture, it’s so much easier to reach out to those outside of our immediate network. Even those we have common interests with are so much easier to find!

Quicker to settle down

The increase in interracial marriages isn’t the only surprise online dating has brought us. As it turns out, those who get together through online dating are quicker to marry than their offline counterparts! Shocker, I know.

But again, it makes sense. It is possible that those who turn to online dating and are interested in a proper relationship, are already in or nearly are in a mindset to settle down. The moment they believe they’ve found the right one for them, why not tie the knot and make things official?

Marriages last longer

Research into the strength of marriage between married couples who met online versus those who met traditionally has found some evidence that will make you pause. Apparently, those who met online have lower rates of marital breakup than the other camp. Huh!

One can speculate the reasoning behind this phenomenon for days and weeks on end, but it is reasonable to believe that this could be due to having more options. When you have a lot of options laid out for you, you have a better chance of avoiding the risk of “settling”. Settling is what occurs when you settle for someone who isn’t the best fit for you due to the belief you can’t find anyone else.

That being said, there is also such a thing as setting your standards too high, so don’t get carried away with the variety of suitors you can get at a click of a button!

Of course, online dating isn’t for everyone. Do what you’re most comfortable with, and if that something happens to be online dating, be sure stay safe! Always practice caution, and never give out personal, sensitive details to those you don’t trust.

We wish you all the best in finding your one true love!

For more interesting content like this one, do check out the third issue of “Crunch” here

Melissa Kartini
Nuffnang Community Team


While there’s always the classic movie date to stave off awkwardness during the first date, it can get a bit dull after a while. After all, just how many first movie dates can you go on before you start getting restless?

Luckily, this article is here to sort that out for you. If you have no other idea what to do on a first date, you might want to consider one of the following! Especially with Valentine’s Day drawing ever close. You don’t want to bore your potential Valentine now, do you?

So without further ado, here’s the list:

Coffee shop


If you and your date are the type to keep things low-key, perhaps a date at a coffee shop might be right up your alley. It’s casual enough for conversation, you’ll have something to drink, and if you really want to lengthen the date, you can order another cup of coffee! Or even a snack. Sounds pretty good, right?

Heck, if things get too awkward, it’s easier to end the outing here than from a dinner date.

And if the usual chat-at-a-coffee-shop approach is too dull for you, you and your date can always order cups of coffee to go before going out for a walk.

Amusement park


With a plethora of activities to choose from at an amusement park, you and your date will hardly ever have a moment of boredom. There are plenty of games and rides to be had, and if either of you are feeling peckish, you can nip on over to one of the food stalls. Which, by the way, come in such a wide variety that you’ll be spoiled for choice.

All in all, a fun, casual day. Do you really need more?

Comedy show


Not one of the most conventional romantic outings, but it’s one that makes you go, “Why didn’t I think of that?”

The atmosphere is relaxed, and the two of you will (hopefully be) laughing your butts off at the jokes they have to offer. Plus, this is an excellent way to gauge whether you both share the same sense of humour! Not that it’s necessarily a deal breaker if you don’t, but it would certainly help if you do.

Pet shelter


Bond over your mutual love for animals by visiting a pet shelter. Not only will you have the companionship of an adorable dog (or cat!) to dispel the awkwardness between you and your date, you’d also be contributing to a worthy cause! Talk about a win-win situation.

Conversation won’t be too much of a worry either; you’d have plenty to talk about whilst bathing or walking one of the animals.



Sweet and oh-so-satisfying, an ice-cream date is yet another low-key alternative the two of you might enjoy. And just like the coffee shop suggestion, you’ll have the flexibility of lengthening the date by ordering another helping- and you’ll also have the option of taking your ice-cream to go and going for a walk.




Ooh, this one is a doozy. A definite must-try for workout enthusiasts out there, rock-climbing is an activity that will get your blood pumping in no time. Heck, you can even spice things up by having a little competition on your own. Last one to reach the top has to pay for dinner afterwards.

That would certainly make your date a bit more interesting, wouldn’t it?

Go bowling


Or play darts or pool. You can even try your hand at archery or head to the arcade. You get the picture. Find a fun activity that will keep the both of you occupied and conversation will naturally follow. This will hold even more so true if again, you have a little contest between you and your date.

More free food, anyone?



This might be a bit expensive, but having a concert date is just about as foolproof as you can get awkward-wise (unless your date is a total jerk, in which case, you have my condolences). Music is best enjoyed with company, and even if you can’t find anything to talk about beforehand, you’ll definitely have lots to chatter about afterwards.

And hey, if the both of you already like the artist in question, you have very little excuse not to have something to chat about. So have at it.



Ever wished you could visit the local zoo? Here’s your chance. Both a highly interesting and unconventional alternative, going to the zoo is a fantastic way to zap away any potential awkwardness. It’s a great learning experience, and you’ll also have the option to eat at the zoo or somewhere outside afterwards.

Just be sure to remember to wear sunscreen!

Food festival


It is no secret that we Malaysians are generally foodies. So what better way to spend a date than by going to a food festival? The both of you can choose from a wide variety of food, which means there is no need to debate over what you’d like to eat. I’m sure some of us have had that tug-of-war experience over where and what to have for dinner.

A food festival is a fast and easy way to solve that.

Melissa Kartini
Nuffnang Community Team


Disclaimer: This article is an excerpt from the second issue of our e-magazine, Crunch.


Photo Credits to our Bloggerati @bobostephanie

“Lose weight”, “eat healthily”, “exercise more” … Ah, aren’t we familiar with most of these come New Year’s Day? With resolutions rolling out like crazy, it’s only natural to get caught up in the hype.

But if you look closely, you’ll notice more specific health-related resolutions, one of the most prominent being the desire to develop abs. Not that many manage to achieve this, and it’s not because they didn’t put any effort in their training (although many fall out of it not long after starting!).

So why does this happen? You’d be surprised to hear that it’s because of their diet. Who knew that food could play such a major role in ab-building?

Let’s take a look at what it takes to have the perfect diet.

Do eat enough protein

It’s going to be a bit tough to build muscle if you exclude protein from your diet. This is because protein helps you to not only build muscle, but to burn fat as well. How does it do this, exactly? It does this by making your body work harder; a ton of calories is burned just to break down this incredible macronutrient!

If that doesn’t sound like a winner in your book, I don’t know what does.

Do cook your own meals

The reason behind this is simple: you can’t control what goes into your meals if someone else prepares it for you. This is especially true if you’re the type of person to eat out.

While this does not necessarily mean you have to avoid eating out forever, it can’t be all of your meals. If you’re not a cook, you can start small. Pack lunch for a couple of days a week- you’d be surprised by the difference this can make.

Eat carbs after your workout

Forget the bad rep carbs have gotten from the press. Yes, you’d definitely gain weight if you eat too much of anything, but carbs have been treated unfairly in this particular aspect. Fact of the matter is, natural grain or starchy carbs such as brown rice and oatmeal are actually important in building abs- and this is even more so true when they’re eaten post-workout.

Not convinced? Carbs have the smallest chance of turning into body fat when you eat them after working out.

Don’t avoid healthy fats

This might sound crazy, but you should include fats in your diet. And when I say this, I mean healthy fats. These are mainly from polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats in food items such as raw nuts, fish oils and olive oils.

By eating the right amount of lean protein, good carbs and healthy fats, you’ll soon develop a metabolism that is able to burn fat more effectively.

Don’t ignore your diet

As tempting as it might be to take the “easy” way out by skipping out on meals to lose weight, this is actually counterproductive. Not only will you have less energy to perform the necessary workouts, your body will also be unable to effectively build the muscles you so desperately crave.

How can it, when it is deprived of the nutrients it needs? So pile on that lean protein- you need it.

Don’t push yourself

If you find that your current diet plan isn’t working out for you, don’t push yourself. It isn’t that easy to determine exactly how much of anything a person should consume, which is precisely why there should be some flexibility in your diet. This doesn’t mean that you should take this as an excuse to replace your brown rice with fast food, it is just that everyone’s body is different. So if something isn’t working out for you, it might be wiser to lessen, increase or replace the item entirely with another healthy alternative.

There you have it! Six easy tips to bear in mind, and you don’t even have to starve yourself to get results. Just eat healthy and workout, my friends, and your efforts will bear fruit.

For more interesting content like this one, do check out the second issue of “Crunch” here

Melissa Kartini
Nuffnang Community Team


There you have it. The New Year is here, and along with it, the promise of new beginnings, lessons and experiences. All of which are no less valuable than the other, especially towards your growth as a person.

But rather than sitting around and waiting for these changes to happen, why not take the initiative to make them happen? There is no better time to improve yourself than now, when you have fellow resolution-makers to keep you company.

So what are the things you can do to become a better person in a year? Let me count the ways:

Start exercising and eating right

When it comes to investing in yourself, there is nothing more important than your health. Not even your job should take precedence over it. After all, you have to live with yourself once it’s time to clock out of work- so take the time to go out for a morning walk or run before work starts. Your body and self-confidence will thank you for it.

As for eating, if you don’t start eating right, you may have food to eat now, but eventually, medicine will be your food. If that’s not a reality you want for yourself, it’s time to make a change.

Start giving

Be kind and considerate. Devote some time to charity work, donate money, help someone out at the office. Realise there are those outside of your immediate circle who are in need.

But most important of all, don’t expect anything back. Give because you care, but do learn the difference between being kind and being a push-over.

Be productive

Dedicate at least an hour a day to being productive. This can be anything. Maybe your dream is to become skilled at photography, maybe it’s to learn programming, maybe it’s to learn a new language. Point of the matter is, dedicate yourself to your dream. If there is one trait that successful people share, it is productivity.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking that we stop learning once college ends. Stay sharp and invest in yourself.

Be more disciplined

This isn’t easy, but once you get the ball rolling, it’ll get easier, and you’ll reap the benefits.

The number one thing to remember when you have something to do that you don’t want to is to just do it. It might be painful, it might be totally joyless, but once you learn to do what you need to in a timely manner, you’ll soon be an efficient worker.

Spend more time with family and friends

Here is a fact that is true for everyone: our time on Earth is limited. No matter how busy you are, or how devoted you are to your career, you should always make time for family and friends. This doesn’t mean you have to spend every waking moment with them, but staying in touch really goes a long way.

Don’t be that person who regrets not spending more time with their loved ones.

Meet new people

Networking is an art that shouldn’t be underestimated, but do bear in mind to network wisely. Surround yourself with positive, high-achieving people. Being around such bright individuals will in turn motivate you to improve yourself, both in terms of personality and your value as an employee.

Meeting new people is also a great way of broadening your mind; you’ll be exposed to different views, backgrounds and opinions. Learning to see the world with a different perspective is an enriching experience on its own.

Be grateful

Complaining is a huge waste of energy. While everyone is allowed to be negative every once in a while, it is a drain on your resources if it’s a constant.

Again, this might be easier said than done, but once you learn to be positive and appreciate the things you do have, you’ll be happier as a person. And that, is more attractive than someone who spews negativity all day long.

Feeling daunted? Fret not, because we’re right here with you. Just take things a day at a time, and you’ll soon be able to look back on 2018 with pride.

Melissa Kartini
Nuffnang Community Team



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