Blog

photo-1487054119077-25d803b1aec6

Perfectionism. The word itself doesn’t sound bad- in fact, it sounds downright wonderful. Who wouldn’t want to achieve perfection, right?

We’re humans, after all, and it’s perfectly human to want to win. That sense of achievement we get once we attain a goal is pretty darned hard to replace.

But here’s the thing with perfectionism. While it can be healthy (we call this “adaptive” perfectionism), there is a darker side to the picture. Maladaptive perfectionists want and cannot accept anything but perfection. Failure to do so results in a spiral into depression.

Below, we’re going to highlight the key signs of perfectionism, and how they can be affecting you and your quality of life negatively.

You procrastinate. A lot. 

Normal people would procrastinate by watching an episode of Friends or Game of Thrones before starting on their assignment. You, on the other hand, spend hours, days, even weeks on an assignment, obsessing over every detail you’ve made to the point that you miss your deadline. Nothing you create ever meets the insane standards you’ve set for yourself, and in the end, you never move forward.

You have an all-or-nothing mindset.

If you’re not good at something, why bother doing it at all? Rather than making a fool of yourself, you’d rather miss out on a class. Instead of going for football practice, you’d rather stay at home, but you’re perfectly fine with going to baseball practice. Because guess what, you’re better at baseball than football. This kind of mindset can prevent growth in those less than perfect areas despite knowing there is a learning curve.

You avoid trying new things.

That cool new sport everyone’s raving about and you’d love to try? Or that new dance school that just opened up and you’d love to sign up for? No and no, on both counts. Out of fear that you’ll make a mistake, you bar yourself from trying new things. Which, trust us, you will regret in the long run. What’s life without a bit more colour in it?

You obsess over previous mistakes.

While everyone else can move on, you can’t. You stay fixated on the mistake you made, and you build it all up in your head, until you finally, finally cripple from the stress of it all. No matter how small the mistake, it doesn’t really make a difference to you. Everything is either perfect or not. Anything less than the former is completely unacceptable.

High, unrealistic goals.

It is one thing to set your goals high, it is another matter entirely when you set them out of reach. Because you define yourself by your accomplishments, you have an innate need to be the very best. Which is a good thing in healthy doses, but bear in mind that you are human too. Remember Icarus, the man who flew too close to the sun? Don’t be him.

Difficulty in sharing your thoughts and feelings.

Why? Because by admitting anything of the like is equivalent to revealing that you are a flawed human being. In your mind, it is a sign of weakness, and it is precisely this mentality that can hinder you from forming warm, genuine relationships. Which is a shame, because it can get pretty lonely all on your own. We humans are social creatures at the end of the day.

The thought of socialising leaves you anxious.

Rather than experiencing butterflies before meeting new people, you get the uglier side of the coin: anxiety. There is a constant worry that people will be watching and judging your every move. What if you make a mistake and embarrass yourself in front of them? The thought is too terrifying to even consider.

Having some of these traits doesn’t mean you’re a perfectionist, but if you found yourself nodding to more than a few of these, you might be. All is not lost, though! Realisation is the first step to recovery, and the quality of life you’ll enjoy thereafter will be well worth it. So don’t be afraid to take that step; everything in life is a journey.

Melissa Kartini
Nuffnang Community Team

photo-1507073995962-8389eb705c2a

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the entire year, you must have seen at least a couple of these fashion trends around.

For some, these are revivals of their childhood memories. For others, these are brand new trends to tinker around with.

It’s proof of the fashion world’s saying, “What is old can be made new again.” Certainly, most don’t come back 100% the way they used to look like, but the inspiration is there- just tailored to meet current fashion standards.

And whether you like it or not, this time it is the 90s’ turn to experience a resurgence.

From the beloved choker to the oh-so-comfy mom jeans, let’s just see how many of these you’re able to recognise.

Chokers

image10

Source: Léon: The Professional (1994)

Back in the day, these used to be quite the statement-makers. Be it styled up with studs, sizable floral ornaments or shells, there was something for everyone.

It is a different story now, though. Blessed with slimmer bands and daintier ornaments, the beloved choker has taken on a more elegant look.

Denim overalls

image7

Source: Clueless (1995)

While the 90s brought us adorable overalls that were more on the youthful side, the modern take of it is a heck of a lot sexier.

Not that we’re complaining, of course.

Leather jacket

image2

Source: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997-2003)

No matter how much time passes, it seems as though leather jackets will forever remain stylish. Check out Eliza Dushku rocking this glossy black number in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Slip this on now and she’d still be slayin’ it.

Combat boots

image6

Source: The Walking Dead (2010-ongoing)

It has been a long time since we discovered that combat boots look good with just about anything.

Whether you wear them with skirts, floral dresses or ripped biker jeans, these babies are just too good to miss out on.

Platform shoes

image5

Source: Clueless (1995)

Most memorably seen on the Spice Girls and of course, in the iconic movie Clueless, platform shoes have made an immense comeback in the fashion world.

Comfortable and oh-so-stylish, these will transform your OOTD into one full of attitude.

Mom jeans

image4

Source: Friends (1994-2004)

Once popular in the 90s before abruptly dying out, the mom jeans have returned with a vengeance.

These are basically comfortable, airy cotton jeans that make you sigh in relief that there’s now another stylish option to choose from- one that is absolutely perfect for lazy, dressed down days.

Crop top

image8

Source: Friends (1994-2004)

Why did these ever go away again? Once again approved in fashion circles, the crop top has returned- and it’s better than ever.

Pair it with shorts, track pants, jeans or maxi skirts, you name it. The modern age crop top is approved for both casual and runway wear.

Round sunglasses

image9

Source: Léon: The Professional (1994)

Now, here is something quirky and totally chic to go out with! Round and framed with sleek metal frames, these are incredibly cute when you know how to pull them off.

Every outfit could do with a bit of whimsy.

Flannel shirt

image1

Source: Full House (1987-1995)

Normally layered over a tee or a tank in the 90s, the flannel shirt now has more versatility in terms of how it can be worn.

You can wear it over a tee or a tank, on its own or tied around the waist, and you can rest assured that you look good.

Brown lipstick

image3

Source: Friends (1994-2004)

Thanks to the Kardashians, the very much missed brown lipstick is back, and this time around, it’s not limited to just dark, gothic looks. Huzzah!

You’ll be able to wear this in a feminine, casual or bold style, and there will be no judgment.

Millennials may not be able to understand our enthusiasm over certain “new” trends, but at the very least, many have come to appreciate them. As evidently shown by how many young ‘uns have embraced the reincarnations of these 90s items.

It certainly is a nice feeling, isn’t it? Who knew fashion could be a way for two different generations to bond!

Melissa Kartini
Nuffnang Community Team

Category

Archive

Latest PostRSS