In the midst of the songs of praises for mothers (that are also well-deserved), we often forget about the fathers – who are not always the stereotypical distant, unapproachable and unaffectionate figure – who can be sensitive, loving, and warm as well.
People always say that life will never be the same after having a child. How exactly does becoming a father change a man? So for this Father’s Day, to appreciate the underrated parent, we decided to ask 4 of our Bloggerati fathers (Tim from TimothyTiah.com, Amri of Ammboi.com, Tian Leong of Saimatkong.com, and Gareth of ShaolinTiger.com) to shed a light on how being a father have changed their lives.
Change in priorities
When a little human joins the family, priorities of the parents tend to change to cater to the new needy addition. Tian Leong, Gareth, Amri and Tim have all made it a point to spend as much time as they can with their families, rather than spending all their time at work. As Tian Leong puts it, “my family is very important to me and they always come first.”
For our co-founder, Timothy Tiah, father of the two social media famous children – Fighter and Penny, he used to chase a financial goal or a net worth life prior to joining the ranks of being a father. However, now with two kids, his new major goal have changed to just wanting to be able to raise his kids and watch them grow older.
Additionally, Amri also notices that, prior to fatherhood, everything he did was more for himself than anyone. However, he now prioritises his children over everything else, everything he does, he does it for the kids.
Balancing between family and work
“I can’t see myself on my death bed wishing I’d spent more time in the office,” – Gareth Davies, Shaolintiger.com
Our Bloggerati fathers are the breadwinners for their respective families. Like every working parent, it is a challenge for them all to juggle between family and work. Time has also become more expensive and precious to them, with more demand than supply.
Tian Leong makes sure to complete his work on time in order to go home early and spend more time with his son, Aiden. However, there are some days when he has to clock in more hours in the office and is unable to make it home to put Aiden to bed. To make it up, he will make sure that he is there when Aiden wakes up the next morning.
Amri dedicates his time after work to his family. Once he’s home, he will spend time with his family, and will only attend to urgent work matters after the kids are fast asleep. Amri also makes it a point to go on at least one family holiday every three months despite the time constraint.
Perspective towards your own parents
Sometimes, it takes becoming a parent yourself to understand what your parents went through. Parenthood has given them a lot more insight to the challenges their parents faced.
As Gareth put it, until you have your own child and have that burden of responsibility, it is impossible to truly understand your parents’ sacrifice, patience, and love. You would also be surprised and impressed by the amount of dedication, time, patience, effort, love, kindness and energy it takes to deal with a small child.
On the other hand, Amri sees no difference. He has always known that his parents only want the best for him. He does try to be a best friend to his kids, just like how his parents did while raising him and his siblings. However, he can be strict with his kids, even if sometimes his kids don’t see him that way.
As a person
It is inevitable that having kids would change you as a person. Having to care for an adorable, vulnerable little human, whose only communication method is crying, will make for a more sensitive, responsible and patient person in general. Upon learning how tiring it can be to take care of children, Amri tries to help his wife out as much as he can to lessen her burden.
For Gareth, he has also learnt to be more empathetic, not only towards his wife and his son, Liam, but also to other parents and what they are going through. When he sees a kid watching watching iPad at dinner, he understands that sometimes you just want a few minutes of peace to enjoy your meal without being interrupted every few seconds.
Appreciation for the little things
With parenthood, it is always the little things that matter most, especially when your kids are young and unable to do much. Every little tiny milestone, from the first time they sit up to the first gibberish word they utter, matters a great deal. Tian Leong could never forget the moment when he saw and held his child for the first time.
Tim and Gareth was not expecting the amount of joy that they would get from their kids, and how rewarding that would be. The first time Fighter learned to say “I love you, Daddy,” Tim knew that these moments supersede the cost of less freedom and the sleepless nights. Similarly, for Gareth, “the best moments for me are when I come home and he’s so happy to see me he almost dances around in the hall, and when he kisses or hugs me of his own accord. Those are the moments that keep your love tank full.”
Read more about their fatherhood on their blogs:
Nuffnang Malaysia wishes all the fathers in the world a very Happy Father’s Day! Have you told your father how much you love him yet?